Before You Speak, Do This
- cynthia700
- Aug 13
- 2 min read
In leadership — and in life — we often jump in with well-meaning suggestions. But what if the most powerful coaching move is to pause and ask one simple question first? In Before You Offer Advice to Someone, Ask This Question (The New York Times, August 2025), author Jancee Dunn explores how seeking permission to give advice can strengthen relationships, reduce defensiveness, and keep conversations productive.
Leader’s Tip: Ask Before You Advise
“Do you want my advice?” It’s a small gesture that makes the listener feel empowered — and more open to what you have to say.
Why it works:
Respects boundaries – avoids unsolicited guidance that can feel intrusive.
Empowers others – they choose whether to hear your input.
Increases receptiveness – permission reduces defensiveness.
Aligns with coaching – keeps the focus on their goals, not your assumptions.
This simple question can turn a conversation from closed-off to collaborative — a small shift with a big impact. [Read the full article here.]
Stay tuned for the next newsletter for another leadership hack related to giving advice (or not).
From Our Archives
In our past newsletters, we’ve explored related ideas and pairing these with today’s topic creates a leadership style that is responsive, adaptable, and far more effective.
Here are the links to our previous newsletters:
Advice is Overrated — Here’s Why. We shared how advice can sometimes shut down learning rather than encourage it.
Why “What Works” Isn’t Working. We examined why solutions that worked for you may not work for others.
Your People Are Showing Up — But Are They Still With You? We discussed how presence doesn’t always equal engagement, and why deeper connection matters.
Dunn’s article ties these threads together — reminding us that leadership is about creating space for others to think, choose, and act, rather than rushing to direct.
Put It Into Practice
The Leader as Coach Mastery Program (LACMP) is designed to help leaders shift from advice-giving to empowering, from directing to engaging.
Here are the details you need to know:
ICF-Certified | 37 CCEs
Kicks off September 22 | 60-Minutes
Virtual full day sessions: Oct 1-2, Nov 5-6, Dec 3-4 | 9am-4pm ET
Special Offer: $1,500 OFF until August 31. Spots at the promotional rate are limited.
You can find more information and register here. Still on the fence? Reach out to me at cynthia@waytogoconsulting.com and I’ll be happy to answer any questions.
Comments